"Bea died at 2:30am and will be cremated tonight. Hospital has agreed to release her body on the condition that the mother issues a promissory note. They are still OVER A MILLION in debt. We have asked you before and we humbly ask you again for any little help you can give. Pls. send your donations to Family Council Office. Thanks."
after the whole "she was revived" thing last night, i couldn't sleep. i tossed and turned in my bed. i cried in my prayer to God. i guess part of me felt that i was about to gain an angel.
this morning, i abruptly checked my phone and was releived not to have recieved any message that would've ruined my day. so i went on with my day... i didn't want to read it. i was on my way to school and there it was. the message i've been dreading to receive. thank you dinofor the morning comfort.
i went to school, stunned. i didn't know what to do. i didn't know how to feel. i entered my classroom and without a word, i left quickly. i wanted, scratch that, needed to see the morning group. (kacki and joey) and as i went down the stairs, they were sitting there. and together, we talked about the incident.
a couple of minutes later, ms. villarruz comes and says, "nicole, are you ok?" and gives me a pat on the back. thank you ms! i replied that i was and turned to mama b who hugged me and started crying. the ripple effect. i started to cry as well. thank you tanya pot for the nice warm hug. :)
after some time i saw tara and immediately ran to her and gave her a hug. then ran to again because i saw mica and gave her a hug. back to reality.. SLC work.
today's assembly was one of the saddest if not the saddest ever that i've been to. the seniors were silent. we were all too stunned to hear of what happened. we couldn't even respond to the praying of the rosary.
then there was the novena... again, tears filled my eyes as we prayed as a community. and as each prayer leader came, memories with bea went through my head. the first time we met, the first time we were classmates, my last time to be her classmate, the 32nd Luke 18 weekend.. and all that. the more i cried.
wanting a moment for myself, i discovered that there are just some people who are really apathetic. they're the ones who just don't seem to care if you've lost someone close to your heart. they're the ones who just look at you and don't show concern. APATHY is the word.
and now, we've got a new angel rockin' the heavens. she's now watching over us. we all love you ilaw!!!
thank you so much for always being there to listen to my rants and raves even if we weren't classmates anymore. thank you so much for your little pieces of advice that has helped me go through this and that. thank you for your cookies that i will forever miss!
man, i remember ilaw telling that when she gets well, she'll be sending me cookies... *sigh*
i remember the time when we were so tired from SS-ing in the 34th weekend and we were talking to each other, lying on the bed, while waiting for the candidates to finish taking a bath when we both fell asleep. after some hours, we woke up and realized that we fell asleep in the clothes that we were wearing the night before. eew.. we sweated in those clothes!!
i remember the when you first told me about you and miguel being together. you made me promise not to tell anyone and i felt so special that you would trust me with something like this.
i remember the interaction when you me and miguel were a "happy family". haha! you were my mom and miguel was my dad. i had a blast with yous guys!!
i remember the interaction, pep practices, the luke meetings, swimming(s) in my place, practices in my places, kwentos, tears, cookies... these memories will forever be with me ilaw. you rock! i love you so much!! say hi to JC for me!!
Lord, eto na. alagaan ko yang kaibigan kong yan ha! mahal ko yan! ;)
You left me with goodbye and open armsA cut so deep i don't deserveYou were always invincible in my eyesThe only thing against us now is time
Chorus :Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's trueIf i only had one more day
I lie down and blind myself with laughterA quick hope is what i'm needingAnd how i wish that i could turn back the hoursBut i know i just don't have the power
Chorus
I'd jump at the chanceWe'd drink and we'd danceAnd i'd listen close to your every word,As if its your last, i know its your last,Cause today, oh, you're gone.
Could it be any harder to live my life without you?Could it be any harder? I'm all alone.. I'm all alone..
Like sand on my feetThe smell of sweet perfumeYou stick to me foreverAnd i wish you didn't go,I wish you didn't go awayTo touch you again,With life in your hands.It couldn't be any harder.. harder.. harder..
please continue praying for the repose of bea's soul. please also pray for the healing of jamie raule, marc carbonell, anabel quiogue, tito ej litton, mr. ang and mr. linsangan.
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the roadTime grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to goSo make the best of this test, and don't ask whyIt's not a question, but a lesson learned in timeIt's something unpredictable, but in the end is rightI hope you had the time of your lifeSo take the photographs, and still frames in your mindHang it on a shelf in good health and good timeTattoos of memories and dead skin on trialFor what it´s worth, it was worth all the while
at sa iyong paglisan, ang tanging pabaon ko ay pagibig...
there's a lot of things i understand,And there's a lot of things,That i don't want to know.But you're the only face,I recognize, it's so damn sweet of you,To look me in the eyes.It's all right, i'm o.k.,I think god can explain,I believe i'm the same,I get carried awayIt's alright, i'm o.k.,I think god can explainI'm relieved, i'm relaxed,I'll get over it yet,The scent of vaseline,In the summertime,The feel of an ice cube,Melting over time,The world seems bigger than both of us,Yet it seems so small,When i begin to cry.I'm so much better than you guessed,I'm so much bigger than you guessed,I'm so much brighter than you guessed.