i miss everything about you. everything. but i still don't know what i saw in you.

yehey! :)
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Partisan - Sponge Cola
I've been dreaming for so longTo see you smile right back at me from where you areAnd I've been wishing for so longTo see you smile right back at me like I'm somebody special, special
But as I aged and I as I changed I left it all behindCause now your calls are kind of mellow, kind of mellow
(Will I run to you?) Even if I'm losing hours(Will I run to you?) Even if I'm losing hours of sleep today
I've been down to long and I knowI know cause the radio's been playing that same old song, that same old song againAbout this regular guy with regular hopes and regular dreams gone..Cause he doesn't know where to go
(Will I run to you?) Even if I'm losing hours(Will I run to you?) Even if I'm losing hours of sleep today
We can find another time to sit and talk awhileI'll be your king and you'll be my queenAnd we'll be dancing all nightBut it's getting there, it's getting to me and it's tearing me apartCause I don't know where to go
(Will I run to you?) Even if I'm losing hours(Will I run to you?) Even if I'm losing hours of sleep today
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manual driving lessons day 1 went well. :) teacher said "good driving" and checked all perfect in my evaluation sheet. :) yey! so so happy! i was pretty surprised actually. cause i kind of let go of the clutch twice and we had to restart the car and all.
it was fun! driving in edsa and all. tomorrow we're doing parking. :s i'm scared for that! like superly scared! after driving i was soooo hungry! it's weird cause at that time, i just ate lunch! hehe.. i probably got tired or something. haha!
just a few more days until orsem! i'm SO SO excited!! i can't wait for orsem night. i asked jorel if their gig on june 9 in the covered courts is for orsem and he said "i think so". how exciting!!! kjwan might be playing!!! that just made me superly excited-er!
kung may bagyo o kung tag-araw, sa iyong damdamin.. sana ay makilala ka muli tulad ng dati.. halika at lumapit ka muli tulad ng dati..
oooh.. sari-sari is now dressing up the dawn! how overly exciting isn't it? i hope i can watch one of their gigs soon. they so so rock!!
on sunday, sugarfree's going to be playing in the garden of SM North Edsa. i'm still debating whether i should watch that or kitchie nadal & fahrenheit on monday. i feel safer watching sugarfree cause i know some of the people that will be there. and hopefully i can bring a friend or something since my dad's part of the sponsors. yey! :)
that's about it. i should go to bed early tonight since i'll be having driving lessons tomorrow morning. whee! i can't wait!!! :D
asado out.

Sunday Morning - Maroon 5
Sunday morning rain is fallingSteal some covers share some skinClouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettableYou twist to fit the mold that I am inBut things just get so crazy living life gets hard to doAnd I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knewThat someday it would lead me back to youThat someday it would lead me back to youThat may be all I needIn darkness (s)he is all I seeCome and rest your bones with meDriving slow on Sunday morningAnd I never want to leaveFingers trace your every outlinePaint a picture with my handsBack and forth we sway like branches in a stormChange the weather still together when it endsThat may be all I needIn darkness (s)he is all I seeCome and rest your bones with meDriving slow on Sunday morningAnd I never want to leaveBut things just get so crazy living life gets hard to doSunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to youSinging someday it'll bring me back to youFind a way to bring myself home to youAnd you may not knowThat may be all I needIn darkness (s)he is all I seeCome and rest your bones with meDriving slow?

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listening to that song over and over again may be sickening, but i can't help but do it.
last night, err this morning, i had the stupidest yet at the same time most serious conversationg with ez. it was like all of a sudden i couldn't take it anymore. keeping all this to myself. i couldn't.
for about an hour i told ez all about someone.. *sigh* how much i miss that person and how i realized that no matter what shit he does to me and how much i should be hating him, i still love him. and that's what makes it hard to get over him.

for crying out loud, i don't even talk to him anymore. so why do i still feel this way? maybe part of me still wants to think that he's still his old self and that he hasn't changed. or maybe i'm wishing that he will change and this time he would be this person who's even more amazing than when i knew him, once.

i'm not making any sense now am i?

see how serious and stupid that conversation was? serious because i was reminiscing on the days we would still talk about almost everything and anything. about the time that i was actually happy just being his friend, though i knew he liked someone else. i had realizations. realizations that got me thinking. that got me crying. they were stupid because i knew what i wanted would never come. never.

but was i really, err, am i really still in love with you? i mean, thinking about the past, what the hell did i see in you that i didn't see in anyone else? there was just really something about you that hit me. something i can't explain.

then i realized something again. i realized that it's not the ass that i don't want to get into relationships. it's because i keep on comparing all the other guys to you. and as much as i'd want to get over you, i can't. i don't know why. like you would say, "malakas yung tama" ko.
but it's only by getting over you that i can move on. have you moved on? hell, did you have something to move on for? to get over? i doubt it. unrequitted love this time of month once again.

so i stick to that. if i can't get over you, i'll wait. it's been a year of waiting and nothing's happened. but i can still wait some more. i still do very much love you. you're old you atleast. and if nothing happens between us, i won't mind. i'll be happy as long as you're happy.

di na tayo katulad ng dati, kay bilis ng sandali.. o kay tagal din kitang mamahalin..

i feel miserable and i know not why.

it's not that i'm jealous. perhaps i'm just a tad bit disappointed. i mean if you can't see that there's a life after that, then man, i pity you. how sad is that? i mean, we're here. we're your friends. but it's as if you don't appreciate us. when everything was just starting, it was great cause you seem to love every thing about it. and just as we start showing you how much we care about you, you do this. i don't know. maybe it's just me. but really, i feel bad because of all this. have i failed you? have we failed you? please, all i'm asking is a little appreciation.

i hope you know this is about you.

he messaged me. again. :'(

wah! i can't believe that they're together! like woah! exagge... but i got to talk to him today. sort of. through chat. and i'm glad we had that little conversation. catch up soon i hope..

here are books i'd like to read. haha.. i got it from the required reading list of UPd. it's my very own "required reading list". haha.. tell me if you've read the book! or if you can lend it to me. hehe..
Joaquin, Nick - The Woman Who Had Two Navels (novel)
Santos, Bienvenido - The Man Who (Thought He) Looked Like Robert Taylor (novel)
Gonzales, NVM - A Season of Grace (novel)
Arguilla, Manuel - 4 short stories from How My Brother Leon Brought Home a Wife
Yuson, Alfred - The Great Philippine Jungle Energy Cafe (novel)
Lopez, S.P. - Literature and Society
Nakpil, Carmen Guerrero - Woman Enough or A Question of Identity
and that's about it. wuhooo..